10
Jan

20 years, 63 years

Today, two things were brought to my attention:

1- it’s been nearly 20 years since I met B, one of my best best *bestest* friends (the friend I stay with here in Vancouver). I met her super-fab husband then, too, but none of us would have predicted at the time that he’d eventually be her husband.

B and I met in the UBC dorms. We were both on the same floor of Sherwood Lett house at Vanier. She was my neighbour; she was sharing a room with her friend from high school. I was sharing a room with Zanna, a complete stranger and a straight-edge vegan riot grrl skate betty (that roommate experience itself is fodder for many, many stories).

B and I have much in common, but I think one of the core things that has drawn us to each other and to maintain our friendship is that we were raised similarly. We both come from families with Old World (European) values. This trickles into many aspects of life including things like perspectives on relationships, food and diet, exercise, socialism and government, child-rearing and education, and more. To put it succinctly, we have very similar world views because of our similar upbringings. We have very different personalities and tastes, however, and that has been a big part of what has kept our friendship so fun — it is never stale or boring. 🙂 We are good for each other.

I can’t believe that we’ve been friends nearly 20 years. This blows my mind. I just can’t conceive of it. We’ve been there for each other through some pretty wretched stuff and of course through some beautiful, stunning stuff and I am certain there is more of both to come. I also can’t believe it’s been more than 20 years because we both still feel 18 (hee hee) and we swear we both don’t look old enough to have known each other that long! Hee hee.

2- The Ridge theatre on Arbutus will be closing after being in business for 63 years. The Ridge is a beautiful old movie cinema. It has a rich history as one of Van’s best-known second-run cinemas. It was the cinema that hosted the very first Vancouver International Film Festival. It’s supposed to be one of the best places to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I’m sad that I’ll never have the chance to experience it there.

The theatre’s owners, Festival Cinemas, sold the land to some developers. Later this year, that plot on Arbutus will be bulldozed to make way for shops and 5 storeys of condos.

This makes me sad.

I know things have to change, but The Ridge is an institution. Vancouver has so many condos, and while I’m sure that more are needed, I can’t help be sad that the theatre owners sold out to this. I don’t understand why the theatre couldn’t be preserved and the condos built next to it.

But I am not a developer or city planner, so I probably don’t understand. I’m just a Vancouver-lover and former resident (7 years) who wants to preserve the city’s cultural history.

B and I will be going to a movie at The Ridge tomorrow night. It will be a bit of a farewell.

Time does funny things.

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9
Jan

Yesterday: people

(Again, I forgot to post last night, and I’m not sure why. I guess I’m getting used to this new routine.)

This is just a Small Thing. But I’m still going to post it.

Yesterday I had a few interactions with strangers — at the community centre, at the coffee shop (okay, two coffee shops), at a luggage store — that got me thinking. You see, ALL of these interactions were very kind, friendly, and cheerful. I was a bit flabbergasted by it all. I even said to my friend, “Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s that I’m in such a good mood that everyone seems so nice.” She laughed.

I reflected on whether it’s Vancouver, or Canada, or just a coincidence. Do I have interactions like this in Singapore? Yes, but they are different. If I am going luggage shopping in Singapore (something I’ve done before), the sales person will be kind and helpful, but probably not friendly. His/Her goal is generally to make a sale, not conversation. Then again, the friendliness factor certainly increases at the coffee shops / cafes in Singapore. Staff there are pretty friendly — if you’re friendly to them, that is. Though I admit it depends on the cafe.

I am not sure how much of this is cultural, but I’m guessing a lot of it is.

I am also not sure if it is problematic, or not. I don’t think it needs to be. I am just making an observation.

And accompanying that observation are my feelings: I love the friendly nature of most people I come into contact with here. It’s definitely more conversational than in NYC, even. It makes me feel at home. Then again, this is my “home.” (You’ll notice that I use that term loosely; it’s the subject of a future post, as it’s been on my mind a lot lately.) So maybe non-Canadians don’t feel as at home with this kind of conversational friendliness among total strangers interacting over coffee, luggage, or toddlers at OpenGym? I’m not sure.

All I know is that I like it. 🙂 It makes a rainy day feel less rainy.

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8
Jan

Little things: coffee

This morning I started my day with a bit of an oof.

I had to be up and out of bed, and then out the door, in a short amount of time. It was a bit chaotic. I hadn’t planned it this way (none of us had). I thought I’d be up earlier (dang dark Canadian winter!). I thought the nurse would’ve been on time (dang Vancouver traffic!). I thought I would be able to have breakfast and coffee before I left the house (dang everything!).

I was wrong.

I was up late, just barely shy of 8am. The nurse did not arrive on time, but this ended up being a good thing because it meant I was at least able to get into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth and pull my hair into some manner of something presentable. I grabbed a banana, got dressed, and was in the car before I knew it.

My dear friend (sister? she feels like a sister) showed me where the house was and which entrance to use. She dropped me off at Bean Around the World.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

Repeat after me: In-stant heh-vennnnn.

It was warm inside — almost steamy. There was a line-up. (Note: I did not say queue. I have been in Canada 2+ weeks now.) I got in line. They had almond milk. They had ALMOND MILK! Well, I am in Vancouver, so of *course* they have almond milk. I ordered a large almond milk latte. It was hot, creamy, and beautiful.

It was raining.

(This is Vancouver, after all.)

It was cold.

I was glad I had the puffy coat *and* an umbrella.

I walked the short 5 minutes to the house, let myself in the gate, and waited under the awning out of the rain, sipping my coffee.

Sipping my coffee.

It was beautiful. All of it: the rain, the coffee, the air, the water, the quiet, the rain, the coffee.

After another 5 minutes, the contractors arrived, and I let them in, and all was sorted, and I was no longer needed, and I was offered a ride back home, and I declined, and…

I walked home.

In the rain.

Sipping my coffee.

It was beautiful.

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7
Jan

Yesterday: Rick Mercer

Rick Mercer makes me proud to be Canadian.

I flew from YYC-YVR yesterday. It’s a short flight of about an hour. I flew on Westjet, which meant that I had the opportunity to watch satellite TV in-flight. (It’s a great perk, IMO.)

While I read a magazine (Newsweek’s special 2013 Issues edition– out of my desire and sadness that Newsweek is leaving the print world) for the first 20-30min, I did happen to catch the last half of Peter Mansbridge’s One-on-One programme, where he was in this case interviewing Rick Mercer.

These two men do Canadians proud, let me start with that. I won’t wax lyrical about Peter Mansbridge, as he wasn’t the reason I felt inspired, though he is certainly worthy of praise and more. Rick Mercer, though, is someone I’ve always admired and whose work I’ve loved, but I’ll admit I’ve never seen him interviewed. I’ve usually seen him on the other side, as (tongue-in-cheek) interviewer. They were talking about Mercer’s new book — which I MUST get my hands on — and Mansbridge was asking some great questions.

I now find myself wishing I had written down some of Mercer’s “quotables” from this conversation, as there were many. He is a brilliant man, a talented comedian, and a sharp political observer. Perhaps I’ll find a recording or transcript online later and return to update this post. Sadly my short-term memory has already disposed of the nuggets he uttered that had me nodding in agreement, smiling and beaming, or laughing out loud.

I tried hard to think of whether the USA has an equivalent. At first, I thought the most likely comparison is Jon Stewart. But the comparison only goes so far. While Stewart has politicians on his show as guests, you don’t see him traipsing around the White House or the Senate, chasing Obama or other politicians and asking them what their kids eat for breakfast.

I love Rick Mercer because he is funny, in a self-depreciating way. He’s from Newfoundland, the butt of so many Canadian jokes but a place we all love and respect with unusual understanding, considering most of us have never been there. He is smart, he is respectful, he is tuned in. He is also proud to be Canadian but doesn’t pound his chest about it.

…and yet, he makes me proud to be Canadian.

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6
Jan

Friends like family

Friends like family.

We all have these, don’t we? They are the people who have been in our lives a very long time — so long that at some point, we can’t remember when they entered. Or, their entrance was just so natural that it all seemed to fit.

They stay with us over the years, even when we lose touch, move, get married, have kids, travel, lose our jobs, get sick, and more. We might not talk all the time during all of these things, but we know these friends are there for us. In many ways, as it is with family, we often take them for granted.

I was blessed to spend some face-to-face time with one of those friends today. I am blessed to have him in my life. We have maintained a friendship for the last 30+ years, through thick and some very very thin. In many ways, we know each other better than any others — even family. It’s both weird and wonderful.

For this, I am so grateful.

Friends like family? Or friends who ARE family?

I prefer the latter.

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5
Jan

Busy is good.

I am better when I am busy.

Quiet time is good, too — and necessary — but one thing I know to be true about myself is that I am more my true self when I am busy.

Today I rented a car. I’ll only be here another 2 days, but I had two appointments today and have one tomorrow and that was enough to prompt me to check out rates. At $50 for two days, totally worth it.

$50 bought me some freedom. $50 bought me some independence. It bought me activity. I could Do More Stuff than I could without access to a car, being that my brother and SIL live in a not-so-central part of the city. After I Did More Stuff today, I came back to the house a wee bit happier than when I left in the morning.

Being without a car was good too — for awhile. I went for walks (brrr) and sat at Timmy’s and saw the sunset and crunched snow under my boots. I read a lot, at “home.” I watched a lot of TV and movies too (something I don’t often do). I got to Be There when my niece and nephew woke up from their naps or wanted to play. These things are important. And they are good for me. Staying still is good.

And today I was reminded that my independence — my busy-ness — is also good. It is equally, if not more, important — for me, anyway. I don’t intend to make this assumption for others (I hope everyone is able to find his/her balance).

So, in true-to-Adrienne fashion, I’ve booked tomorrow — my last full day here — as another busy day involving spending time with more people I love, a bit of shopping, and some entertainment. Wheee!

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4
Jan

The beginning of . . .

So.

I am late.

I meant to do this the other day (New Year and all, you know), but then the day got away from me (reallytruly) — playing in the snow with my niece, making dinner, visiting with my brother — all good things. Then suddenly I was in bed, and it was the next morning and I remembered I wanted to start that THING and then it was the rest of the day and I was making dinner again and visiting with Amy and then DANGIT the day was over again and so, well… I tried again and ran into majorstupidFRUSTRATING posting problems due to having only an iPad (don’t ask!) and so I gave up and now finally…. here I am. #holidaybrain

But it’s my thing and my rules so, heh.

So.

Daily.

Something.
(Hopefully something worth remembering.)

Definitely something.

Daily. In words.

And that is it, really. No other rules.

So, here is my first something: Family is funny. It’s hard to tell where one emotion begins and another ends. Yeah, maybe we don’t need to be able to know… maybe that’s okay. I suspect many (most?) people don’t bother worrying about this or trying to “figure it out.” But this is something I spend a lot of time thinking about. Parsing. Disentangling. Disentangling emotions. For reasons I don’t yet fully understand and cannot yet articulate, this disentanglement is harder with family than with other people. I still try. To disentangle. (I also realize this may be a lifelong task, and I’m comfortable with that.) It’s a challenge. Where to pick up one end, untie the knot, smooth it out, and lay it flat again? Where is the other end? Do all the pieces have an end? (Should they?) Hm.
In the meantime, I know this: I LOVE THIS GUY:

[insert caption here]

(my nephew, the newest member of our family)

LOVE.
🙂

All ends laid flat, easy, no tangles, that one.

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