Tonight I went for a run/walk (don’t ask) at Macritchie Reservoir Park. I had my tunes playing on my iPhone, of course. I had decided to run to a “Genius Mix” of hip-hop and rap. First there was some Kanye, then Michael Franti, then Kana’an.
And just as I was taking the bend right by the water, near the Singapore Canoe Federation’s The Paddle Lodge, Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” came on.
In that moment, looking out over the water in Singapore’s heat and humidity — as paddlers brought their boats in, as young parents helped their toddler learn to walk, as two sweaty uncles sat on a bench talking to each other — I realized how very far away I was now from New York. I listened to the lyrics again. I have heard these lyrics hundreds of times. There have been times when hearing this song made me weary simply because it got so much airplay when it first was released (2009 — the same year I moved to New York). And yet these lyrics are not worn on me yet. Each time I hear them, I swear I understand them better. Or differently. Or more.
I realized in that same moment that NYC will always be with me. It will never go away. This is both good and bad. There are pieces of NYC in me. And there are pieces of me in NYC. It will always be this way. The city and the experience of living there has had a profound effect on me, forevermore. The place has an energy that is difficult to describe. I know others experience it too. And I can safely say that there is nowhere else I’ve lived — not Calgary, Vancouver, London, Doha, or Hanoi — that has done this in the same way. It’s a very specific NYC kind of love and hate and sadness and extreme joy and frustration and bliss… all at once.
I thought for a moment about Troy Chin’s character in The Resident Tourist, and how, as a Singaporean, he must have been completely gobsmacked upon returning to Singapore after having lived in NYC for 10 years. I can’t imagine how difficult that transition was.
You’ve probably heard this all before. It might not be nothing new. You might roll your eyes at yet another former-New Yorker who is smugly missing the nostalgia of the city that never sleeps.
Some might say this is a cheesy moment. “Ooooh so you had pangs for NYC as soon as you heard that song. Big whoop. You and everyone else who has lived in New York.”
You know what I say to all of that? Screw it. Piss off. You don’t get it, and maybe you never will. Before 2009, I certainly didn’t. I thought NYC was going to be just another big city. After all, I had lived in London.
But here is the thing: my experience in NYC is not the same as your experience in NYC, and yet we still have these commonalities that we can connect with… via a hip-hop track. How incredible is that? What does that say about humanity, about what we experience together and separately?
Just after “Empire State of Mind” finished, The Beastie Boys “Ch-Check It Out” came on. It was turning into a NYC workout mix, and I was pleased. I daresay it made my walk/run go faster. 🙂
I know I need to write more about how living in NYC has made a profound effect on me. I will get there. In the meantime, I will reflect on how living in Singapore — another place I love — makes me appreciate my experience in NYC (even the gritty bits), and how reflecting on life in NYC makes me appreciate living in Singapore.
Oh, and I need to figure out how to create a playlist from within iTunes on iPhone. Is this even possible? I will endeavour to find out. I’d like to put that NYC workout mix together.
